I'm finally settled into my job at the library, and again, it is literally a Godsend of a job. For real, guys, imagine spending all day in the stacks at the library. And I get paid to do it.
So, yeah, I'm just writing to say I am so extremely happy right now, and also I feel totally unqualified to have such a great Grown Up job. I've had jobs before. But something is different now. I'm still growing up, at 20 years old, and it's not as drastic and scary as I thought it would be. I don't know; I kind of thought (way back when) that growing up was some milestone. It kept changing as I passed milestones. At some point, all of these things seemed to be the Next Step of Growing Up:
- I turned 13 and started high school.
- I turned 16 and started driving myself places.
- I graduated high school.
- I met my first boyfriend.
- I went to college.
- I got my first real job.
- etc, etc, etc
However, it was not these accomplishments themselves that grew me up. It was the experiences I had between the milestones. For example... I had my heart broken, it felt like the world was ending for a while, and I survived. I changed my majors three times, causing a lot of stress in school. I was aware of growing up then, too, as I finally gave it all up to God to hold my future and not let me get in the way by constantly changing my mind, lol. My family left the church we'd attended for years and years, and it was honestly one of the hardest changes I've ever gone through to find my place somewhere else, but I was maturing through it.
I guess I'm realizing that "Growing Up" is totally a thing. It's experiencing, and maturing, and learning, and growing. "Grown Up" as a milestone does not exist, though. That's not a thing. I don't know exactly what it means to be Grown Up; it probably some kind of myth to motivate you to do stuff. There will probably never be a point where I say to myself, "Yup, I did it - I have Grown Up, and it's all downhill from here." Like, I honestly don't want to "finish" growing up. Ever.
Adulthood is one thing; growing up is def another