January 11, 2017

have you tried turning it off and on again?

Let's get philosophical and talk about all of 2016 as if it had any kind of discernible pattern!

The IT Crowd
I'm about to get real deep, and suggest that for the past year or so I've been metaphorically living in that time right after you shut your computer down, and you're counting to 30 before you turn it back on.  Like it's a weird way to picture it, but it's honestly the best way I can describe it.

Every year on New Years' Eve we go around describing our year in one word.  At the end of 2015 I said "Change," because it really was a year where I personally stayed the same, but my circumstances around me were in a changing and growing process.  For instance, I got a new job (a "grown up" job in my mind, mostly because it's a job that relates to my plans for the future and I get paid vacations haha), I bought my first car (and began paying insurance....... nice), I graduated community college, etc...

I have to say this year was the exact opposite of "Change!"  Instead I took 2 semesters off from college (really I guess it was a gap year between finishing my associate's degree and beginning my bachelor's degree), I worked consistently, I learned how to enjoy a daily routine, I cultivated good habits, like eating right, exercising, budgeting, organizing, etc... It was good for me.  Mentally I was spent at the end of 2015 from stress about school, anxiety, fear of the future and felt really stuck.  I thought the way out of that was plowing on ahead, going back to school immediately, piling more things on my plate, but obviously God knew better.

So at the end of 2016 my word to describe the year was "Reset."  Because that's what it took to get my head in the game again.  I was "stuck" (the way a computer sometimes freezes, to keep with the metaphor), and I had to be shut down (forcefully haha) to start moving again.  As frustrating as it was, sometimes, to live in that "in-between" phase for a while even as I tried DESPERATELY to change things up, I'm looking back now and seeing the mental healing and spiritual growth that happened.  So that's cool.

And now here's 2017.  I'm about to dive head-first back into college and kick-start a few more semesters of school and see what that's like.  I don't know what the end of the year's word is going to be, but from here, at the beginning, I know the "Reset" period is over.

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